If you’re new to my journey here at Hope Between the Hard, SDR (Selective Dorsal Rhizotomy) is a spinal surgery that helps reduce spasticity and improve mobility for children with cerebral palsy. It’s a major, life-changing decision — one that takes time, research, and courage to make.
As a mom of a strong, opinionated 4-year-old with cerebral palsy, I wanted to share what it felt like to face this moment — the days leading up to surgery, and the morning we said our “see you soon.” My hope is that these reflections help another parent feel a little less alone.
Reflections: The Overthinking and the Overwhelm
We’re officially one month out from our daughter’s SDR surgery, and wow — it’s been a whirlwind. I know I didn’t share updates in real time, but I needed to be fully present for our brave little girl.
The week before surgery, I was a complete mess. Imagine a toddler’s picture of colorful scribbles — all tangled together, no clear beginning or end. That’s exactly how my brain and emotions felt. There were endless to-dos to prepare for a week in the hospital while also trying to process my anxieties and keep a smiling face for our daughter.
We had our plans in place, but it still felt like something was missing. Honestly, it’s amazing I held it together as well as I did.
The Weekend Before Surgery: Making Memories
Friday afternoon came, and we headed out for a fun-filled weekend before surgery day. Thankfully, our daughter was still excited for surgery. We had a countdown calendar and read her social stories every night. Her joy and curiosity helped carry me through that week.
We made sure the weekend was full of her favorite things — swimming in a hotel pool, eating at buffets (because she loves choosing her food), and building a special stuffed animal from Build-a-Bear to take to the hospital. We even dressed her new friend in a doctor outfit to commemorate the week.
The night before surgery, we stayed a few blocks from the hospital at a local version of the Ronald McDonald House. Before bed, we read her SDR social story one more time and opened the gifts that friends and family had sent to make her week more comforting.
Then it was off to bed — because morning was coming quickly.
The Morning Of: Where Fear Meets Faith
Our daughter slept peacefully. My husband and I did not. We tossed and turned all night, our minds spinning through every possibility.
Thank God for coffee — and for the Scooters located inside the hospital.
Check-in went smoothly, and soon we were surrounded by a calm, confident medical team. Our daughter started off the morning bright and cheery, helping me stay grounded. But as we got closer to surgery time, her energy quieted. We hugged her close, played with her Inside Out toys, and whispered prayers.
Eventually it was time for pre-surgery meds to help ease the transition, and then came the hardest part — lifting her onto the hospital bed, saying our “see you soon,” and watching her be wheeled away.
It was the first time I saw fear in her eyes, and I held back tears until she was out of sight. Then I broke down.
“See you later” never gets easier.
I prayed over the hands of her surgeons, over my husband and myself for strength while we waited, and most of all over my daughter. No surgery is ever easy, but this one felt especially heavy.
As I sat in the waiting room, I realized — my heart wasn’t with me anymore. It was in that operating room. All I could do was trust that we had made the right decision, and that God and the medical team would carry her safely through.
A Gentle Reflection
Looking back, I can see that even in the midst of fear, love and faith were what carried us through — love for our daughter, for each other, for the hope that waited on the other side of the hard, and ultimately faith that this was all part of someone else’s grand plan.
If you’re preparing for SDR surgery or walking through recovery right now, please know you’re not alone. There’s beauty even in the waiting, and hope can live right beside the fear.
Blooming where we are planted,
A CP Warrior’s Mama
I’d love to hear from you.
If your family has walked through SDR or is preparing for it, what helped you the most? Share your story in the comments — your words might be exactly what another parent needs to read today.
Relevant Products:
My Big Brave Adventure: SDR Surgery – This was a social story that I created just for her and personalized with her pictures and name. We then just printed and laminated the story to read to her. I have a digital copy available, or send me an email and I am happy to personalize it for your child!
Journal Reflections – Enjoy this simple resource to help organize your worries, fears, hopes, blessings, and thoughts as you prepare for your child’s SDR surgery.
